Happy Halloween!!!

Well at the gym it was 80's day.  What fun to live in the past and listen to the great music.  Had a blast at kickboxing class although I wish it was a little faster paced.  It is great for a begining class, but needs to be kicked up a notch.  There is a class after the kickboxing one I have wanted to go to for some time so today I went.  It is called dance motion.  You learn the moves to different dance and it was so fun.  No you don't need to go and have your eyes checked.  You read it right.  I want to a dance class and had fun.  Today we learned the thriller dance and it was great.  My kids all want me to show them now and we are having a great time.  Hope everyone has a safe and happy Halloween!!!

Sorry I am emotional!!!!!

Maybe spin class is worth it.  I found out you burn a ton of calories.
Well I get weighed in on Monday and I am kinda nervous. I have seriously been working my butt off, but my scales at home don't show it.

{HERE IS WHERE I GET EMOTIONAL}
I know some of you watch the biggest loser and the last episode hit me really hard. Those close to me know I have had similar feelings to what Abby was having. I have survived but have not really lived. I have not been happy for quite awhile and miss my mom more than ever. I have been on several different meds, and they take the edge off but nothing has trully helped. I am hoping like Abby this will be my inside change as well as my outside change. I really want the old me back. I want to be a good mom and not worry constantly about who will die next. I want to enjoy some of the time my husband is gone hunting and not sit and cry all night worrying if something has happened to him because I can't get a hold of him, and I don't want to call my brother hysterical and him have to clam me down and assure me everything is ok. I want to watch my kids play their sports and not be thinking I wonder if this is the last time I will see them play? Will they be the next one to go? I really want to let go and release all this I just don't know how. But when Abby said you have a choice it hit me. I am punishing myself. I have the choice to hold on to the past and be depressed and worry about the future.  Or I have to choice to start new and live each day to the fullest. Thanks Abby!

I am not Happy:(

I did not go to the gym this morning. I have been so good, but this morning when my alarm went of at 4:00 am. I just couldn't do it. I was exhausted. Jim told me I did way to much yesterday so I though I would take this morning off. I will still be going to the Gym after work and doing weights and cardio so I will still get some exercise in just not twice today. Hopefully I will get a little rested to day and hit it hard again in the morning.





Breakfast 6:30am - Frosted wheat cereal with skim milk.
Morning Snack 10:30am - string cheese, grapes.
Lunch 12:30 - Fiesta chicken salad (no corn and no tortilla).
Afternoon Snack 3:00pm - cookie (oops)
Dinner 7:00pm - Taco

Total Calories: 1357


WORKOUT

Weights:
Shoulder/Back/Arms: With my shoulder still be being jacked I am trying to do the best I can. My trainer tried to get to me to hold 3lb weights, but my shoulder couldn't do it. I did some amazing stretches for my shoulder and then the weights for my back and arms. It was a great workout today.

Cardio:
Bike 30 mins

Are we done Yet??????????

You know in that last post where I commented about whether I pushed myself hard enough in spin class. That is B.S.! I sat on the bike this morning and thought I was going to die. My butt killed, and my legs were rubber and throbbed like crazy! I took one turn of the pedals and thought "Are we done Yet!" That was the longest hour of my life. But it is over!!!!!!!!!!! After class my cycling instructor came and talked to me and told me how great I was doing and how good it was to see me back for more. As she and I talked a little bit she told me she had completed the journey I am now on & lost over 60 lbs. What an inspiration to me. To see someone who had struggled just like I am and now is teaching the class. I love stories like this because you see all those "skinny you know whats" and I just want to pound em. It is not fair that some of us have to work so hard. But to see that it can be done is refreshing. Ok so sorry to all the "skinny you know whats". I am not jealous I love me, (just not the fatty layer). I won't go to hell for not loving my fatty layer right.

WORKOUTS
Cardio:

Cycling: 60 minutes
Elliptical: 5 minutes burned 50 calories
Bike: 30 minutes burned 110 calories

Weights:

LEGS
Calf Raises: 4 Sets (90 lbs)of 12 reps
Machine Leg Curls: 4 Sets (90 lbs)of 12 reps
Machine Leg Extensions: 4 sets (50 lbs) of 12 reps
Sumo Squats: 3 sets (16 lbs) for 20 reps
Stanging Calf Raises: 7 sets 0f 20 reps

ARMS
bumbell biceps curl: 3 sets(8lbs)of 25 reps.


NUTRITION - (Not the best day!)
Breakfast 6:30am - String Cheese, Fuze, Apple, Whole Wheat bagel w/cream cheese
Morning Snack 10:00am -Kettle baked potato chips.
Lunch 12:30 pm - BBQ grilled chicken, spinach, tomato, olive, and cheese pizza (1.5 servings)
Afternoon Snack 3:00pm - Peanut Butter Cookie
Dinner: 7:00 pm -Pork Chop and Shell pasta
TOTAL CALORIES: 1889 I want this be closer to the 1500 mark. I am getting better, but still ahve a long way to go. My Carbs and Fats are to high surprise surprise.

Spin Class kicked my TRASH!!!

was bound and determined not to quit.Well I took my first spin class on Monday and it sucked.  About 15-20 mins into it I thought my legs were going to fall off, and my butt hurt so bad.  Let me tell ya I hope the seats get more comfortable because after breaking my tailbone it is sensitive.  I thought there is no way I will last the full hour.  But I was bound and determined not to quit.  Sometimes I had to sit when the class was standing, and I am sure I didn't have my bike turned up as high as I should have for the climbs, but I kept pedaling and did not quit.  The teacher was so good with me and kept encouraging me.  Today I was not as sore as I thought I would be so now I am wondering if I pushed myself enough.  Well tomorrow at 5:00 am is day two of my spin class and then I have a nutritional teaching at 4:00pm and then my trainer Jason at 5:00 pm.  Wish me luck.  My weigh ins are coming up the first of Nov and I am very nervous.  My hardest thing to give up is my pop.  I have definitely cut back so that is a start.  Great job Jen on your lack of soda!!!!!!!

WEIGHTING the options......

Well a couple of weeks ago I had a melt down. I realized my birthday was a couple of months away and it would be my 32nd birthday. Now for most people this would a happy time. A time to celebrate. And don't get me wrong I am very greatful for all I have in my life. I have the best family and friends anyone could ask for. However this realization brought tears to my eyes as for I would only have a year left. I am sure some of you are asking - what are you talking about? But the thought of my mom dying at the young age of 33 has hit really hard. If that were me I would only have one year left. I am not sure all the factors that lead to my moms heartattack, but I do know she was out of shape, overweight, over worked, and very stressed. As I look at my life I notice I am following down her same path. As much as I would love to be like my mom to die at the age of 33 is not in my plan. Thats when it hit me! Are you going to sit here and cry or are u going to get off your butt and do something about it. So that day I meet with a trainer at Golds Gym. After learning how bad I had let myself go I decided I was ready for a change. I was going to make the time to take care of myself so I could in turn live to take care of my family. I joined Golds Gym weighting 152 lbs and 32% body fat. I am starting this blog to help me deal with all the ups and downs I will have along the journey. I also want my kids to know we are not blessed with "Skinny" genes it is not going to be easy, but it is going to be worth it. Feel free to comment, share healthy recipies, workouts, etc. And join me in the journey. My goal is to be 118 lbs a year from now. I somewhat feel this is a steep goal, but my trainer assures me it is reachable. So here we go!!!!